Of Two Things I'm Certain

Being in your twenties is possibly the most confusing time of my life. Not only have I just left my past self behind, but I have yet to discover who my future self will be. Trapped in the middle like this is both frightening and amazing, for its almost as though you're caught in the middle of an adventure. I can tell my writing reflects this. In my revision, my main characters struggle for belonging and identity. In my WIP, my main character struggles to remember himself (he has lost his memory) and discover his identity by combining past memories with ones he makes in the present. I know that writing these will help me find myself, too. 

And that's how I plan to get through it all, by writing. 

When I left school, leaving the image of "Jess always doing her homework" behind, I was scared. What if I was only good at school--at taking tests, writing essays, answering short-answer questions? All the homework would end. After that, what would I do with all my free time? How would I handle getting a full-time job? These are just the start of all the questions. For example, we could follow with the struggle to (A) make money, (B) maintain an interest in my job, (C) the desire to move to an apartment, (D) the desire to get a new car, (E) unable to do any of these things because I'm paying off loans... I'm sure your situation was or is similar to mine. 

Through all these changes in beliefs, in friends, in who I want to become, I have two things I am sure of. 

1. I am not on the path to becoming a "What Not To Wear" horror story. I used to watch this show all the time during the summer because it was on every day at noon, so I turned it on when eating lunch and quickly became pulled into the episode, especially if there was a marathon going on. My mother always dresses really nice, and with her as my guide, I have been doing the same. (Although, I type this with a frumpy sweatshirt on. Hey, it's cold!) Regularly purging my closet, something I am in need of doing soon, has kept me on top of things, despite how difficult it may be with my colitis. Every time I get a flare my jeans could fit differently, so buying the correct size is of optimum importance. As I dress I hear Mom's voice in my ear: "What, no earrings? How about a necklace?" 

2. I will always be writing. This grounds me more than anything. I love it. It helps me talk myself through my problems, whether I am writing in my journal or a blog post or even a novel, as mentioned above it seems as if I am using that outlet--that of my character's identities--to discover my own. I have been writing stories since I was five years old. My ideas are plentiful. If I do not write I will explode. Despite all the confusion I may have during the day, it vanishes as soon as I begin. 

It is quite relieving to have two things to ground me, leaving me with just enough courage to explore the unknown. 

Revising Goals

This week I reevaluated and thought out my goals for the revision I'm working on.

When I first began in the fall, I made my goal to finish the revision before June. One of my favorite beta readers is finished with school then, so she'll be able to dive in without being worried about homework. Another possible beta works at a school, so he can read while there are no kids in the building. However, I soon realized, when I finished Part 1 of the revision in December, which is the longest part, that this would change.

 

It seemed like a miracle; I would be able to finish revising sooner.

So my new goal became May 1 to have it completed. It still gave my betas the time frame they need, and it also gave me additional time to read my story and revise it before handing it over. I was to complete Part 2 before March 1. 

March 1 has passed, and I am well into Part 3, into the new parts of the climax. Its scary, and rather exciting, so my goal is to be revised again, but in every good way possible. I'm so excited to reread this and give it to my betas, and even more eager to work on my next series I have plotted out and planned already. 

My new goal? Finish the revision by April 1. Once I am done, I will print it out and stick it in a binder. I also want to shrink the pages down and get a look at it that way, just to try an interesting new form of revision (a blog post will follow on this). Once all my paperwork is completed, I will set my novel aside and--with enormous difficulty--ignore its existence. 

In between April and May, I have various other projects to work on. One is a recipe book for my mother, another a purge of various paperwork in my room, another a T-Shirt quilt. Will this distract me from my writing? Or will I need to actually work on real writing to help myself forget it? We will have to see! How did you wait out your month? 

At the start of May, I will begin revising and reading, including reading it aloud to find errors and reading it to myself to find errors. 

Sometime in June--which is a rough estimate--I will print and hand the revised copy out to betas. I am so excited for someone to read this and even more thrilled that the plot has ended up the way it has. It's come so far, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Setting goals is so important for me and one of the few ways I manage to get things done, that and the prospect of crossing something off of my to-do list. I plan to write down this list of goals and hang it in my room so whenever I pass it I am reminded to keep working, to never give up, and to pursue my dreams, no matter what the consequences. 

Update: Conquering Revision

It can be difficult to take a different approach to a story that's been worked on for ten to twelve years. In fact, I believe that's what my problem has been in past revisions: I kept too close to the original, so close that my writing style from way back when leaks into my new draft. Over the years, plot has shifted, yet old ideas still persist with a stubborn attitude. In September, I started my last plot revision of the project and became determined to rewrite it all. Not only was this my revision technique now, but it will also become, possibly, the way I revise in the future. No pressure?

One of the issues I have when I write is that I come up with a great idea for a scene, write it down, and then forget about it. If the paper is not in front of me, I write an entirely new version of the scene. Later, upon finding the original idea, I battle myself. Idea A, or Idea B? Usually I go with the latter, for the simple reason that the new idea is more interesting than the old one. This is all good and fine for first drafts. What about revisions? Before starting, I knew that would be my main problem. If I continued flying past the old plot notes, this draft would become a first draft and we would be at square one.

Not an option!

Instead of messy papers everywhere on my desk, I made a master notes list, split into at least six sections. The first was history of my land that I re-built in so many ways, which influenced the present day of the story. Next came the changes to the culture of the people. This was followed by the parts my story is actually split into. I began making mini-outlines (at least, this is how Part 1's section goes), but they evolved into adding the main differences to each section, which included "In-Between" (there is a space of about two years between Part 1 and Part 2), Part 2, and Part 3. If I consulted this packet of notes, I would not forget a lot of it. 

It was a nice thought, anyway. I did check on that packet; although, as time went on I found my notes were not here. In fact, they were paper clipped together and stuck in the binder of the copy of my book I was checking. If I was finished with a particular note, it did not linger--I put it in a folder on my desk of old notes from that story.

The other problem--a much larger one--was how to revise the plot and my writing style without letting those pesky phrases from younger me slipping in. Before, I simply copied the page, typing it all up over again in order to find any errors. 

No!

This time around, I realized what I should do is reread the scene I am about to write, and close the binder. No more peeking. Ideas that I enjoyed would stay fresh in my memory, while at the same time allowing my writing to improve. If a scene did not hold a great change to the plot, I copied it, but this was rarely done. My routine became to reread the old scene, reread the writing I had written the day before, and then start writing the new scene. Anything forgotten was not important anymore. 

Learning to revise in the way that fits me best is an ongoing effort, as it is for us all. How do you revise? I'd love to hear!